


the mighty fall

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Police, Angst, Crimes & Criminals, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Humor, Injury, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, On Hiatus, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-01 00:02:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15762465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dan and Phil are detectives whose biggest problems are each other. That is, until they get caught up in something bigger.* * *(disclaimer: LPD is completely fictional! i came up with it in order to have more freedom. my police work experience extends to watching brooklyn 99 and some other crime series like bones and ncis, so don't @ me, there will be inaccuracies but i'm trying)on hiatus





	1. so bright, so blue the sky

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is a lot of fun to write, i hope at least some of you are as excited about it as i am!! 
> 
> if you haven't yet, come say hi to me on tumblr: [freckleydimples](https://freckleydimples.tumblr.com)

“One caramel frappuccino with coffee, please.” Dan takes his wallet out with a sigh; he has to count his money twice because he’s pretty sure he’s seeing two of everything. He hasn’t slept in three days, thanks to the amount of work he has had.

“Do you want whipped cream? And can I have your name?” the cashier asks in a chippery voice. Dan gives her a tired smile.

“Yeah, thanks. Dan.”

“Your order will be ready soon.”

Dan sits down and leans back, closing his eyes. He could fall asleep right there – he had pulled three all nighters for nothing, thanks to his annoying co-worker. He still can’t believe it; he had done everything perfectly, but all the sudden the case was taken from him. Dan’s frustrated and tired, for a good reason. How is he supposed to do his work, when it’s stolen from him?

He has just stood up to get his order, when the bell above the door chimes as someone steps in. Not too soon after that, he hears a familiar voice behind him.

“So, Howell, you’re just gonna drink to forget?”

Dan takes a deep breath, like he’s preparing himself, and turns around. “This is a Starbucks, Phil.”

Phil doesn’t pay attention to Dan’s attempt to fix his words. “Yeah, I know. I mean, I practically did your case so I’m not completely stupid.” He shrugs, trying to seem innocent, which makes Dan scoff.

“Fuck off,” he mutters and makes his way to the table, staring intensely out of the window as he sits down, mostly just to avoid Phil.

Phil, however, follows him. “Don’t be so grumpy. Even though it _was_ a surprisingly easy case.” He’s smiling smugly – Dan doesn’t even have to look at him to know that. He can hear it in Phil’s voice. He’s had to listen to that certain tone for too long.

“Yeah, it was easy for you because I did all the work!” Dan says, rolling his eyes. “You only had to catch the guy.” He huffs and then takes the straw in his mouth, shooting an annoyed glance at Phil.

Phil looks way too happy, but why wouldn’t he? He isn’t the one who got his case stolen.

“Well, then I should thank you, shouldn’t I?” Phil pats Dan’s shoulder. “I gotta go to interrogate the dude now. See you!”

And just like that, he walks out, leaving Dan to wonder if he just came there to annoy Dan. He didn’t even buy anything.

Dan sips his drink, cursing Phil in his mind. He swears he’s going to get a bigger case than the lost one; it’s on now.

(Or actually, it’s been on since the day they met, but whatever.)

 

* * * 

 

“Why are you storming into my office like the world was about to end?” Dan’s boss, Adrienne, asks, with an unsurprised expression on her face. She’s sitting behind her desk, but she stands up when she sees Dan.

“I- Um,” Dan stammers, flustered. Adrienne’s gaze is unreadable yet pressuring like always, and Dan realises that he didn’t even knock on the door before coming in.

Adrienne raises her eyebrows. Dan coughs.

“I want to take that drug dealer murder case,” he says, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Adrienne frowns.

“Alright,” she says slowly. “You’re surprisingly eager.”

Dan scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, well, I was kinda upset that you gave my case to Lester,” he says, glancing at Adrienne cautiously. “So now I have nothing to do except paperwork.”

Adrienne nods, tapping her chin. “Isn’t paperwork as important though?” she asks, with a hint of a smile.

Dan’s eyes widen slightly. “I mean– Yes, of course! I just feel like it isn’t what I do best.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Adrienne chuckles. “I understand. You can have the case… Under one condition.” She makes it sound way worse than it probably actually is, a devious smirk playing on her lips.

“Oh. Okay, what is it?”

“This case is too big to handle alone. Take detective Lester with you.”

Yeah. It is as bad as she made it sound.  

Dan opens his mouth to complain, but before he can say anything, Adrienne sits down. “Being a police is also about teamwork. You will work on this case together with him, and that’s final.” She smiles, almost like she’s apologising. “So please, try to get along.”

He exits her office with the case file in his hands and a frown on his face.

 

* * *

 

The way to the crime scene is quiet. Dan is focused on the road while Phil is just scrolling through his phone, leaning as far away from Dan as he can without looking unnatural. The atmosphere is painfully awkward, and Dan lets out a relieved a sigh when they finally arrive to the scene.

It’s an old storage building that has been isolated by the police, for obvious reasons. There are few police cars and officers on the outside, and Dan puts his uniform jacket on. He can’t stop the tiny rush of excitement as he passes underneath the police tape.

They make it to the doors of the building, approaching the closest police officer in sight.

Phil takes his badge out, showing it to the officer. “We’re from the LPD,” he says, “we are taking the case from here.” His voice is slightly lower than usual, he sounds professional and… Like an _adult._

“All clear,” the man answers, stepping aside from the door. “I’ll give you the details.”

They step inside the building. It’s bleak and old, the paint on the wall has started to deteriorate, and the air smells faintly of gasoline. What gets Dan’s attention, however, is none of those things, but the blood that’s scattered on the wall and ground, already dried.

“The body was found here,” the officer says, gesturing towards the nearest corner. “A few people that we’re passing heard gunshots and called the police.” He waits as Phil writes something down, and then continues walking.

“Recognising the body was easy,” he says. “LPD has tried catch Michael Patel for a year now, but apparently someone did it for us. The identity and the motive of the murderer is still unknown, but I think it could be one of Patel’s former dealers.” They’re still standing close to the place where the body had been, Dan stares at the blood absentmindedly.  

He glances at Phil from the corner of his eye. Phil seems to be deep in thought, he’s staring at the floor with his eyebrows frowned. He’s been oddly quiet; no annoying remarks or any of the usual teasing. Dan just shrugs it off – maybe Phil is just focusing on the work.

“Is this all you know about this?” Dan asks.

The officer nods. “Unfortunately. If you want to see the body though, you have to contact our medical examiner.”

Dan nods. They should probably call the medical examiner or something, maybe he should suggest it to Phil – 

“Okay, thank you. We’re heading back to office now,” Phil says suddenly. Dan has just taken out his notepad and pen so he could ask the number of the medical, but Phil starts walking towards the car, ignoring Dan completely. The officer next to them looks confused, and Dan mouths an apology to him, hurrying then after Phil.

“Hey hey hey,” he says as he reaches Phil. “What was that? I thought the investigation was still going on.”

Phil doesn’t answer at first, just unlocks the car doors and throws the keys at Dan. When they’re finally sitting in the car, Dan sighs.

“Could you like, tell me what’s going on?”

Dan waits until Phil finally looks at him. For a second, Dan thinks Phil seems almost... _Vulnerable._ His body is tense, jaw tightened and he has an unsure look in his eyes. But then his expression changes quickly to unreadable and it feels like Dan had just imagined it all.

“There’s nothing going on,” Phil says flatly. “Nothing to investigate here. We might as well go back.” He looks pointedly at the key in Dan’s hand, and Dan puts it kind of grudgingly into the keyhole.

“You could’ve told me,” he mutters. “We’re supposed to work on this together.”

Phil acts like he doesn’t even hear what Dan says.

When they’re back in the office, Dan can’t keep himself from glancing in Phil’s direction every now and then. He works at his desk, glasses a little askew and his hair pushed up to a quiff. Everything looks normal, but there’s something off. Something’s been off since they were at the crime scene.

Dan takes some papers he had just printed and walks over to Phil. He sets a smile on his face, and taps Phil’s shoulder.

He turns around in a surprise, eyes wide. When he sees Dan, though, he sighs. “What?”

Dan shows the papers. “I printed out a list of Patel’s former dealers and customers. I also found out where his parents live. I thought they could tell us something.” He sets the papers down on Phil’s desk, waiting for his answer.

Phil looks warily at Dan at first. Seconds pass by, before he takes the papers and skims through them.

“Good,” he says. “Now we gotta just find out where these people are at the moment.” For the first time in probably _months,_ Phil gives Dan a friendly look, and Dan smiles back.

“Well, let’s work, then,” Dan says and pulls a chair next to Phil, sitting down.

As they keep looking into the names on the list, Phil starts to relax significantly, talking more and being more cooperative. It’s weird, since usually they are always competing almost about everything. Who has more arrests, who solves more cases, who gets the last Ribena from the vending machine. You name it.

But here they are, sitting next each other, actually working _together_. And maybe Dan had been wrong; this isn’t as bad as he thought.

“Look,” Phil says, waking Dan from his thoughts. He’s pointing at the computer screen. “One of Patel’s contacts was arrested this Monday for being in possession of cocaine.”

Dan’s face lights up. “Nice! That’s a lead,” he says. “We’re gonna catch the murderer sooner than you think.”

Phil cocks his eyebrow. “Let’s chat with this guy and then we’ll see which one of us get to arrest the killer,” he says. Dan frowns, looking as Phil stands up with the case files in his hands. There’s a change in the mood, and Dan doesn’t like it.

“When you’re ready, drag your ass to the interrogation room, Howell.” Phil says. He leaves the office with a confident smile on his lips.

Turns out Dan was right after all.

Fuck Phil Lester.


	2. after a storm, there must be more storms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dan and phil go on with their case, and dan gets to kick down a door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to rewrite this chapter twice and i still doesn't like it!! i feel like i've betrayed myself
> 
> thanks for reading!!
> 
> (also you might notice i changed the rating and the tags, yep, that happened)

Dan and Phil certainly aren’t blessed with luck on this Thursday. First Dan’s work car broke down, so they had to walk – it wouldn’t have been such a big deal, but of course it started to rain too. Phil feels his dignity quickly going down the drain with the water, as they walk on the street, rain pouring on them.

“I can’t believe you don’t have an umbrella,” Dan mutters, only getting an eye roll from Phil.

“The forecast said it’d be sunny,” he says in a defending tone and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket. Dan just shakes his head, like he’s disappointed. Maybe he is? Phil can’t quite read him.

There’s some kind of anxiety swelling in his stomach, the slight fear of unknown. He usually works alone, and being assigned to work with Dan – well, it isn’t his dream job. But it could be worse. He thinks.

Phil knows that Dan doesn’t like him. The childish rivalry between them has been going on for three years, and even though they don’t _hate_ each other, they aren’t close at all. But still, somewhere in Phil’s mind, there’s a tiny voice that says _Dan doesn’t like you. Dan doesn’t want to even work on this case with you._

And Phil hides his anxieties with overconfidence.

“This is ridiculous,” Dan says, startling Phil. “No one’s gonna take us seriously when we look like rats.” He shakes his head, wet curls falling onto his face.

Phil smiles and runs his hand through his hair. “I mean, you have nothing to worry about since you already looked like one.”

Dan glances at him. “Wow. Such humour,” he says dryly. “King of comedy.”

“It’s a natural talent of mine,” Phil says with a grin. “And you have no room to talk. No one ever laughs at your weird, edgy jokes.”

“It’s peak comedy. And definitely not weird,” Dan says, elbowing Phil in the ribs. Phil lets out a little  _oof_ and presses his hand against his side.

“You said “yas, daddy” to Sergeant when he asked you to help him with the interrogation today,” Phil reminds, and successfully makes Dan cringe. “Nobody had a positive reaction to that.”

Dan shrugs, smiling sheepishly. “I’m a meme, what can I do.”

“You’re making my ears bleed. Stop.” Dan just laughs.

They continue their playful argument until they are at their destination – or in the other words, at Patel's house. The rain has stopped, but they’re both still soaking wet, looking a little... Pitiful. 

Dan knocks on the door, and is about to answer to something stupid Phil had said, but then there’s suddenly a gun pointed at his face. Dan’s eyes blow wide and he takes a step back, raising his hands. Phil does the same, holding his badge in the other hand.

“LDP, please put your gun down.”

The man standing in the doorway stares at them with suspicion in his eyes, but eventually he puts his gun aside. Dan and Phil lower their hands, glancing at each other. Dan nods.

“Hello, sir. I’m detective Howell, and this is my partner detective Lester. We’ve come to talk about your son.”

Mr. Patel looks at them grumpily, the moment stretching out as his eyes dart between Dan and Phil. “Come in,” he sighs reluctantly. 

They step inside, Phil looking around cautiously. The house is pretty and cozy, and smells faintly of cookies. Phil is a little surprised; it isn’t what he had expected, considering the welcome was what it was. 

“Fred! Why didn’t you tell me we have guests?”

A woman with gray hair comes from the kitchen, drying her hands to a towel. Phil presses his lips together. He feels awkward. 

The woman – supposedly mrs. Patel – has a warm smile and friendly eyes. “Oh my goodness! You’re all wet,” she says, her hands rising to cover her mouth. “I’ll get you some towels.”

“There’s no ne–” Dan starts, but in a seconds she’s gone to the bathroom. Mr. Patel looks at them from the corner of his eye, brows furrowed and mouth drawn into a tight line. 

Luckily mrs. Patel is back soon with some clean, white towels.

“I’m Sylvia Patel,” she says happily, as Dan and Phil dry themselves. “And you’re...From the police, I see.” Her tone changes as she reaches the end of her sentence, and it makes Phil feel somewhat uncomfortable. Her eyes are fixated on their jackets, specifically on the little logo that says _London Police Department._

Phil has a bad feeling about this.

 

* * *

 

Well, they don’t get killed.

But they don’t get any useful information either.

They find out that Michael Patel was never in good terms with his parents, and he cut the connections to them a few years ago. It doesn’t really help Dan and Phil, so the visit is over soon. Patels seem relieved when Dan and Phil leave, and Phil can't help but feel like they're hiding something.

“Last thing, mr. Patel,” Dan says at the door. “We’re confiscating your handgun.”

 

* * *

 

Phil closes his apartment door behind him with a sigh. Finally he’s having some time alone, time for himself. He doesn’t have to think about work or Dan or murdered drug dealers.

(Or their parents, either.)

He changes his clothes to something comfy, orders pizza and then slumps onto the sofa. He has enough time to play two rounds of Mario Kart before his pizza arrives, and that’s how his evening goes, really. He doesn't have that much energy to do anything more. 

But by the time he makes it to the bed and is lying comfortably under the covers, he thinks he might be a little lonely. 

(It sounds kind of sad.) 

The morning comes too soon, as always.

It’s still dark outside when Phil gets up. He really, really doesn’t wanna go, but when his alarm chimes for the fourth time, he forces himself out of the bed. He shivers when his feet touch the cold floor, wincing a little. The bed is still warm and tempting behind him, but taking a deep breath, he makes his way to the bathroom. 

As he’s walking down the street to catch the tube, he hears something metallic rolling against the concrete. He looks down at his feet when the sound stops, and sees something small that’s shining under in the streetlamp light. He picks it up, and soon realises that he’s holding a bullet.

He gulps, his heart starting to beat a little faster. He turns his head, but doesn’t see anything or anyone, apart from some woman with a dog.

Maybe it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just… A bullet. But it’s nothing, it’s nothing. Right?

Phil throws it away, swiping his hands on his jeans like they were dirty, and starts running towards the station.

 

Dan is leaning on the kitchen counter when Phil gets to the office. He looks tired, but when he sees Phil, his face lights up. Which is, like, really rare.

“Phil! Finally you came. You’re... “ Dan takes a look at the clock, “...actually not late at all, but still.” He smiles. 

Phil hums in amusement and pours himself a cup of coffee. He wonders if he should tell Dan about the bullet, but then again, it would probably sound ridiculous. Dan would laugh and say that Phil is overreacting, and yeah, he is. 

So he decides to say nothing.

“So,” Dan starts when they’re sitting at his desk, going through the Patel case. “I think the murderer is Michael’s former boss.”

Phil’s eyeing Dan’s desk – there aren’t much knick knacks, but a monochrome Rubik’s cube is sitting next to the computer screen, and a few video game figurines decorate the edge of the desk. Dan seems to like it minimalistic, and it kind of suits him. _Him and his overly edgy lifestyle,_ Phil thinks.

Dan pinches Phil’s arm, and Phil jolts. “Yes, what? His boss? How can you be so sure?” he asks, the surprise making his voice slightly higher.

Dan spins around in his chair, and then turns fully to face Phil. “I did some digging last night, and apparently Michael had some unpaid debt, and then succeeded to mess up an important deal or something.” He grins triumphantly, eyes shining with enthusiasm, and it makes Phil smile, too.

“Those are pretty good motives,” Phil says, nodding. “Good job, Howell.”

“Was that a genuine compliment?”

Phil chuckles. “Don’t get used to it.”

Dan snorts, shaking his head. “ _Anyway_ , I think we should go check if he has an alibi. I know where he lives.”

It makes Phil raise his eyebrows in curiosity. “We’re you up all night trying to solve this?”

Dan doesn’t look at him. “This is my job,” he says with a shrug. He stands up and takes his jacket from the back rest of the chair. “Okay, let’s go.”

He doesn’t really give Phil other options than following him.

 

* * *

 

Knock on the door.

Five knocks.

No one is answering.

“This is police, open the door!” Phil shouts through the door, and then listens carefully, but hears nothing. The silence feels heavy as it settles in the corridor.

“Can I kick the door down? Can I kick the door down?” Dan asks, impatiently tapping the doorframe with his fingers.

Phil bites his lip. In all honestly, he thinks they should leave. “I don’t know… The LDP has to pay –”

“He’s our prime suspect, Phil!” Dan exclaims, and Phil, not having interest in fighting, gives up.

He cringes, though, as Dan kicks the door down. Dan seems so determined about this, that Phil didn’t even have the heart to say that the apartment is probably empty.

(You’re getting soft, a voice in his head says.)

(And Phil says:  _I just didn't want to start an argument._ )

Then he sighs and follows Dan inside.


	3. a guy that i'd kinda be into

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prank war happens, and dan falls (onto the floor)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is late!!! i have a test week coming and i had to write three essays but don't worry, i haven't abandoned you!!

“Dan, you really shouldn’t do that here.” 

Someone pokes his shoulder. He decides to ignore it at first, but then it happens again. Dan raises his head, squinting as the bright light  hits his face. Bryony, the office assistant, is standing next to his desk with her hand on her hip. 

“Adrienne is looking at you. Like, glaring. Probably planning on murdering you right now.” 

It makes Dan sit upright and straighten his back. “I was just resting my eyes” he says, a huge yawn making the rest of the of the sentence sound incoherent. Bryony rolls her eyes. He's not tired, he wants to say, but he knows that she won't believe him. He looks awful – greasy hair, dark circles, the tiniest stubble – but the current case is keeping him awake. 

“Why are you here anyway? It’s cleaning day. You should be in the evidence room," Bryony says. 

She is right – today is their monthly cleaning day. Every month some of them are assigned with different cleaning tasks, such as washing the bathroom stalls, while the others are working. And this month, it’s Dan’s turn to clean the evidence room. He's not very excited, but on the other hand, it could have been way worse.

“Um, same goes to you,” he says, wiggling his finger at Bryony. “If I remember right, you were responsible for the briefing room.” 

“Yeah, well, I’m not the one the boss is mad at,” she answers, smirking. “I heard you kicked down a door for nothing?” 

Dan grimaces. “Uhhh…” 

“Adrienne was not happy about that.” 

“Ehhh…” 

“Oh my god, Dan.” 

Dan looks guiltily away, and Bryony just laughs. He knows that he shouldn’t have done it, since it was clear from the beginning that the apartment was empty. He had been so excited, though. They had been so close..

“How’s Phil? Do you two get along?” Bryony asks suddenly, quirking her eyebrow. Dan shifts in his chair, his body tensing for some reason. 

“It’s… Alright,” he says, shrugging. He's not sure what he's supposed to answer.

Bryony looks satisfied with the answer. “That’s good,” she says fondly. Then she adds, “also he’s cleaning the evidence room with you.” 

Dan’s jaw drops. “What?” 

"Yeah, it was definitely not my idea," she says quickly, not sounding believable at all. “So no fights, no stupid competitions, no making out.” Bryony doesn’t give Dan a chance to answer, but takes the chocolate bar that has been laying on his desk and leaves. 

“Why would we make out?” Dan finally manages to ask, heat rising to his cheeks, but she’s already at her own desk. “Bryony, why would we make out?” he shouts. She ignores him.

(He really wanted to eat that chocolate bar, too.)

 

* * * 

 

It doesn’t take long from Dan to realise why the evidence room needs cleaning. He’s sure he has breathed in pounds of dust just in a few minutes, and he’s considering about filing a complaint, because this has to be an unhealthy work environment. 

Phil doesn’t seem too bothered. While Dan’s dusting the shelves and the boxes, he’s reorganising the files. He’s happily humming some song that Dan doesn’t recognise, smiling as he goes through the files. At one point Dan stops just to watch him, mostly because he has never seen Phil like that. So relaxed. 

When Phil’s ready with the box he has been working on, he swipes his hands on his jeans. 

“Do you need help?” he asks, and Dan is surprised by the genuine kindness in his voice. The look in Phil’s eyes is sincere and Dan shrugs, accepting his offer. It's not like help is a bad thing.

It’s actually nice, he catches himself thinking. They end up chatting about almost anything else but work, and Dan really didn’t expect the conversation to flow so easily. He’s actually having fun _. Fun _ in the dusty, old evidence room with Phil Lester. It sounds bizarre. 

When they’re halfway done, Phil suggests a lunch break, and Dan is more than happy to do so. He had skipped breakfast, which in hindsight was a mistake – he’s starving. 

They sit down on the evidence room floor since neither of them have enough energy to go upstairs to the kitchen.

“I’m craving pizza,” Dan mutters as he reaches for his lunchbox. He had bought a ready-made chicken salad on his way to work, even though he isn't that fond of it.

“There’s a pizzeria downstairs,” Phil answers, taking his sandwich. He looks at Dan from the corner of his eye, like he’s waiting for something to happen. 

“Yeah, but I don’t like the piz–” 

Dan has opened his lunchbox and is quickly cut off by a mass of silver glitter falling from the box into his lap. A load of silver glitter. 

He stares at his lap, eyes wide. The glitter is  _ everywhere.  _ On his legs, his shirt, on the floor. When he tries to swipe it off of his shirt, it gets on his hands. Dan groans. 

Phil is covering his mouth with his hand, but he’s clearly laughing. His eyes are crinkled and his shoulders are shaking, and quickly Dan realises what has happened. 

“You fucking– I swear to god, Phil Lester, this is gonna be the end of you,” he threatens, and takes as much glitter from the floor as he can. He leaps himself at Phil, and for a second the air is filled with glitter. Phil lets out a shriek but it’s already too late; Dan already has a hand on his arm and the other in his hair. 

“Dan!” Phil is wriggling, but Dan’s grip is too tight, he holds Phil still and tousles his hair. Finally Phil gets one hand free, and he pushes Dan away. With a triumphant grin, he covers his hands with glitter and tries to grab Dan’s shirt, but Dan stands up and hides behind one of the shelves. 

“Get your glittery hands away from me!” Dan laughs, when Phil follows him. He backs against the shelf and then runs to the other side of the room. Phil, however, is faster than he had thought, and tackles them both on the ground. 

They fall onto the floor with a  _ thump _ , and it knocks the breath out of Dan. 

“Are you alright?” he asks Phil, who's laying on top of him. His glasses are lying on the ground, but they aren’t broken, thank god.

“I think I hit my knee,” Phil says quietly. Dan blinks his eyes and rises up onto his forearms. 

“Do you need help? Or, like, an ambulance? Is it that bad?” He sounds worried – he is, a little.

Suddenly there are hands on his cheeks, and Phil is squishing his face. “Got you!” he giggles, rubbing glitter on Dan’s face. 

“That was dirty,” Dan says, glaring Phil. Phil has straddled him so he can’t move, and there’s glitter in his hair and on his face, and Dan thinks he has some in hi s mouth. 

Phil pinches Dan’s cheek, smiling widely. “I got you good,” he says, clearly proud of himself. Dan sighs, but a sudden thought interrupts his attempt to be mad at Phil. 

Phil is still cupping his face. Quickly Dan becomes aware of the fact that Phil is also still straddling his hips, and Dan feels like he’s glued to the spot. Phil’s smile fades, and he tilts his head as he looks at Dan. 

How did they even end up like this?

“We, um. We should clean this mess,” Dan blurts. He’s hot, his face is aflame and he wants to run. And the worst thing is that he doesn’t even know why. 

After eyeing the room – that is now covered in glitter – Phil nods. He stands up and takes his glasses. 

“Maybe, yeah, I think we should,” he says, and coughs once. 

 

* * * 

 

“Howell. Where are you going?"

Dan stops immediately when he hears Adrienne’s voice behind him. He turns around slowly, and yep, there she is, hand on her hip and the other brow arched. 

“I’m going to buy food,” he says, trying to look convincing enough. Well,  _ technically,  _ he’s not lying. “Since Lester ruined my lunch.” 

Adrienne sighs deeply, shaking her head. “You two are unbelievable. I can’t tell if I have two adult detectives or two little children here.” It makes Dan smile sheepishly. They have given her pretty hard times, he admits.

“Alright, you can go. Be back soon.” She gives up pretty easily, and Dan watches her walk away before running out. 

He isn’t going to buy food. Or actually he is going to do that too, but it isn’t the main thing why he’s going to the store. 

His main mission is to get Phil back for the glitter prank.

(He still has glitter on his face, and he can't get it off.)

It takes a while to find what he’s looking for, but eventually finds a store with the exact item. 

An air horn. 

Before going back to the office, he checks the time. It’s only a quarter over twelve, and he knows Phil’s break hasn’t ended yet. He has about ten minutes left, and so he sneaks back to the office, glancing around before going in.

It’s empty; only Adrienne is in her private office and a few uniform officers are doing their work, but other than that there’s no one around. Dan takes the air horn and duct tape he had bought and goes to Phil’s desk. He sits on the floor and quickly tapes the air horn onto the chair, under the seat. When he’s done, he grins widely and goes to his own desk.

Dan is doing the paperwork concerning the Patel case, when Phil comes back from his break. Dan is having a hard time hiding his smile, when he spins around in his chair. 

“Hey, I sent you an email that you should check,” he says casually when Phil walks past his desk. 

“Okay, lemme just open my computer.” Phil sets his bag aside and sits down.

The sound of an air horn blares in the office, startling everyone. Bryony drops the binder she’s holding, and Sergeant falls off of his chair. Weirdly enough, Adrienne stays in her room.

Phil stands up in a second, yelling something like  _ what the fuck  _ as he looks around.  Then he presses the seat of the chair, and again, the sound fills the room. Dan has to look away to keep himself from laughing. 

“What the hell, Phil?” Sergeant asks. “Stop doing that!” 

“It’s not my fault!” Phil exclaims. “Someone has taped an air horn under my seat." 

Sergeant frowns, confused. Dan takes advantage of the quiet moment and rolls himself next to Phil. 

“I wonder who could’ve done that,” he says, faking an innocent expression. He stretches his legs, sliding lower in the chair. 

Phil blinks once, and then the realisation dawns on him. 

“I hate you. I actually literally very seriously hate you,” he states, throwing a pen at Dan. That’s when Dan breaks – he bursts into laughter, pressing his face in his hands. 

“Stop laughing!” Phil says, “I could’ve had a heart attack!” He pushes Dan away, pouting. 

Dan stifles his laugh. “I’m sorry,” he says, not sound at all apologetic. “Your face, though, it was hilarious.” 

Phil looks defeated for a moment, but then there's a smile pulling the corners of his mouth too. “You’re a horrible person,” he says, as he turns to take the air horn off of the chair. Dan doesn’t say anything. 

He happens to catch Bryony watching them from the other side of the room. She winks at him.

He doesn't like the implication of that. 


	4. mr & mr devlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's time to go undercover!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "updates on thursdays," i repeat to myself as i post the chapter on saturday

The happy chatter stops when Adrienne arrives into the briefing room. She looks well-rested and ready for work as always, and Phil is a little bit jealous. He wishes he was too. 

Dan, who is sitting in front of Phil, takes his legs off of the table as Adrienne walks past him. She looks at him with a hint of a smile on her lips, and Dan grins back. 

“Good morning, team,” Adrienne says. She sits down onto the desk and watches the detectives and uniform officers that are looking more or less tired. Someone chirps back a quiet _good morning_ , but apart from that she gets no answer.  

She sighs and takes her clipboard. “Alright, then. Charlie. I need that report of the arson case by tomorrow.” 

Charlie – their sergeant – nods. “Will do, Leonas.” 

“And… Dan, Phil. Any news about Patel?” 

Phil shakes his head. “Nothing that you already don’t know about.” 

Adrienne is quiet for a moment. Then she says, “come to my office after the briefing.” Her tone is unreadable. 

Dan turns around to look at Phil with a questioning expression. Phil frowns slightly, shrugging. He doesn’t have any clue why she would want to talk to them privately. He just hopes they’re not in trouble for not proceeding with the case, because then it’d be taken away from them. 

The briefing is over shortly after, and Adrienne gestures Phil and Dan to follow her. She leads them to her office, and when they’re all in she closes the door and shuts the blinds.

“Um… Is everything okay?” Dan asks. He looks concerned, and Phil can’t blame him – he himself feels like they’re in some sort of a secret meeting.  

Adrienne goes to sit at her desk, and Dan and Phil take it as a sign to sit down too. 

“I’ve been in contact with my CI,” she starts, “and we’ve located Kyle Mills.” 

“Kyle Mills? Like, you mean the dude who killed Michael?” Dan sounds excited, his voice going a little high-pitched like always when he’s surprised. 

“ _ Probably  _ killed,” Phil corrects. Dan ignores him. 

Adrienne nods, clearly amused. “Yes, Dan. Don’t lean on my flag pole.” 

Dan quickly leans back in his chair, glancing cautiously at the little pride flag that’s standing on Adrienne’s desk. 

“Mills is at the Hotel Langham. My CI says he has deals going down there tomorrow night.” 

“So we’re going to go there and arrest him?” Phil guesses, but Adrienne shakes her head. 

“You don’t have enough evidence,” she says. “I’m sending you two undercover to Langham.”

To be honest, Phil doesn’t see that coming. Now it seems obvious, even more when he remembers that Adrienne is known for her enthusiasm when it comes to sending her detectives undercover.  

“This has to be the easiest undercover job,” Dan says. “I mean, we just chill in a five-star hotel.” He smiles widely, even offering Phil some of it. 

Adrienne frowns. “You don’t plan on taking your job seriously, Howell?” 

Dan’s smile drops. Adrienne smirks.  

“Anyhow, there are two things. One, you’ll go in posing as a couple, which isn’t a big deal–”  

“You’re saying _what_ now–”  

“–but tomorrow there’ll be a some kind of even for biology professors, and my CI thinks Mills has his next deal going down there. Any questions?” Adrienne ends her explanation, looking at the detectives with a scarily calm expression. Dan bites his lip. Phil is just confused. 

“I have tons of questions right now,” Dan starts, “but they’re not, um. Important to the mission.” 

Adrienne smiles. “You’re dismissed.” 

Before they leave, she gives them both files about the mission. Phil skims through the papers absentmindedly; he keeps glancing at Dan, who’s talking with Bryony. 

_You’ll go in posing as a couple._ Phil can’t help but think how weirdly specific that is, even though he trusts Adrienne. She knows what she’s doing, and it is probably for the best if they have a proper cover – Phil just feels weird about it. 

Maybe it’s just because he doesn’t know Dan that well, after all. They’re just colleagues who have a childish rivalry going on between them. It’s just natural for Phil to feel a little anxious.  

And it’s just for a couple of days. 

 

* * * 

 

Adrienne watches as Dan and Phil leave the building. She sighs, eyes gazing at their empty desks. Sure, the office will be quieter and way more peaceful for the next few days, but still…

“Do you think they’ll be alright?” she asks. Her voice is laced with worry, though she tries to hide it. 

There’s a woman sitting in one of Adrienne’s comfortable armchairs. Her hair tied into a bun, and blue eyes are filled with warmth and reassurance as she speaks.

“Dear, they’re adults and trained detectives, even if it’s hard to believe sometimes.” She smiles and reaches to take Adrienne’s hand. “It’s alright to be worried, but you need to trust them.” 

Adrienne shakes her head slightly and then squeezes the woman’s hand. “I know. And this isn’t even that big of a mission.” They fall into a comfortable silence before she talks again. “Shall we go, then?”  

“Yes, please. I’m starving.” The woman chuckles as she stands up and kisses Adrienne’s cheek. Still holding her hand, she leads her out of the office. 

 

* * * 

 

Phil isn’t a Dan expert. He can’t read his moods very well nor can he tell what he’s thinking, but one thing he  _ can  _ do, is tell when something is off. And right now something is very off. 

It started on the way to the hotel. As soon as they had left the office building, Dan had gone quiet, only answering to Phil with something like “mhmm,” “yeah” or a shrug. It had been like he didn’t want to talk to Phil. 

The cab drive to the hotel had been quiet. The radio had been the only source of sound there. 

Now that they are at the hotel and Dan is in the bathroom, Phil is pretty sure he is avoiding him. He isn’t just sure why – they are supposed to live in one room for two or three days, for god’s sake. This isn’t time for Dan to start hating him again. 

When Dan gets back from the bathroom, Phil already has their room keys. He’s waiting in front of the elevators, tapping his foot impatiently. 

“We have like, a few hours before Mills arrives, and I wanna shower, so can we go?” he asks, throwing the other key to Dan. 

“Criminals doesn’t care about what you smell like,” Dan says as they step into the elevator. Phil huffs. 

“I do,” he mutters. 

The hotel is fancy – it leaves Phil wondering what money Adrienne used to get them a room there. And when they arrive to their room, well, it’s even fancier. Phil looks around in awe, because this is probably the best hotel room he has ever been in. He’s about to say it to Dan, but he’s quickly interrupted. 

“There’s only one bed.” 

And yeah, now that Dan says it, Phil does notice the king sized bed in the middle of the room. He tilts his head. 

“It’s alright,” he says. “It’s big enough for both of us.” He looks at Dan, who looks slightly… Nervous? Phil isn’t really sure. 

“I’m sleeping on the sofa. You can keep the bed.” Dan takes his bag and puts it on the sofa, starting to unpack his things. Phil frowns. 

“That’s ridiculous. The sofa is way too small for you, and it’s bad for your back.” 

“It’s alright.” 

“If I bother you that much, we can just build a wall from pillows between us. Please, just… Don’t sleep on the sofa.” 

Dan turns around. ”First of all –” He cuts off and sighs. “Okay. We do it your way, then.” 

 

* * * 

 

Turns out there isn’t much to do while they’re waiting for Mills. Phil decides to spend an hour in the shower testing all the different soaps and oils that their bathroom has, and when he’s finished he smells like a mix of coconut, lavender, honey and chocolate. Pretty delicious, to be honest. 

Dan is like glued to his phone, so he isn’t much of a company to Phil. Eventually, Phil figures out that he might as well play some video games, since he bought his laptop with him. He sits on the bed, propping himself comfortably against the pillows and pulls his laptop onto his lap.  

“You’re playing Sims?” 

The questions startles Phil. Dan had apparently recognised the music, because he’s looking at Phil with curiosity. Phil nods.

“I was bored. Do you wanna play with me?” 

Dan seems to consider Phil’s offer for a few seconds. Then he gets up from the sofa.  

“Why not,” he says, surprising Phil. Dan climbs to the bed and sits next to him. “Let’s start a family!” 

Phil chuckles.  

But after a while, it turns out that they both have somewhat different ideas on how to play Sims. It becomes clear after they’ve planned their family of virtual characters and planted them into the Sims world. Dan wants to play as realistically as possible, building each character their own lives, whereas Phil just finds that boring. 

So it’s not really a surprise when Dan finds Phil freezing one of their sims to death at one point during the day. 

“Phil! You can’t do that! Winston has his whole life before him!” he shouts in terror, taking the laptop away from Phil.

Phil tries his best to look offended. “We have too many sims. I’m just making our work easier.”  

Dan shakes his head in disappointment. “You’re a monster, Philip Lester. I could arrest you for attempting murder.” 

“The handcuffs are in my bag,” Phil says, smiling innocently. 

“Kinky.” 

“Like you have room to talk.” 

They stare each other for a moment, but eventually Dan gives up. 

“Fine.  _ One  _ sim. But not Winston.” 

 

* * * 

 

The Event Of Biology Professors, as they’ve been calling it, takes place on the same day. When the clock is 20:00, Dan and Phil head downstairs to the banquet hall. They do what they’re told to do; pose as a biology professors who work at the Manchester University. They met nine years ago when they both were studying, and got married four years ago. That’s their cover story. 

There are surprisingly many people, Phil notices. It’s going to be difficult to find Mills from the crowd. 

One of the waiters give them both a glasses of champagne. Phil watches the bubbles rise in his drink, wondering how they should proceed. Dan has fallen oddly quiet again, sipping his own drink with an absent minded expression. Without any thinking, Phil takes his hand.  

“Do you have any ideas?” he asks in a low voice. Dan glances at him. 

“There’s one waiter standing next to the staff room door, talking to an earpiece,” he says. “We should keep an eye on him.” 

Phil gives him an impressed look. “Nice work, mr. Devlin,” he says, using their made up surname. Dan smiles. 

“Why, thank you, mr. Devlin.”

As the evening goes on, they try to avoid all conversation while watching the waiter. He’s not moving from the door, but they don’t see any suspicious movement near him either. Phil is also worried of Dan, who seems to be rather fond of the champagne. He’s not drunk or tipsy – yet – but Phil still hopes he would stop, for obvious reasons. He doesn’t want to leave too early. 

Dan gets another glass. Phil snatches it from his hand and puts it onto the table. 

“We’re at work, Dan. That’s unprofessional,” he says. Dan bites his lip. 

“Yeah. I– I’m sorry.” His eyes are downcast. “I’m just feeling a little anxious.” 

Phil’s expression softens slightly. “I know crowds are anxiety inducing, but it’s just this one night,” he says. I just now that he notices how Dan is a little paler, or how he keeps playing with the hem of his suit jacket.  

“It’s not the crowd,” Dan says suddenly. Phil blinks. “It’s you,” he blurts out. His eyes are wide as he looks at Phil.  

“What do you –” 

“I’m– I have to go to the restroom.” Dan doesn’t give Phil time to react, and disappears into the crowd

Phil doesn’t go after him. 

But when he turns around, he notices that the waiter has disappeared, too.  

“Fuck,” he mutters. 


End file.
